We all know that dating can be a minefield filled with “Do”s and “Don’t”s, all in the name of impressing your date and getting to that happily ever after. Guys, wouldn’t you then like to know what’s going on in the minds of the fairer sex, and why those dates never seem to progress beyond the first and second? Here are some common mistakes men make when dating, that send the ladies running for the hills.
#1: Clingy, Clingy, Clingy
Guys, if you are itching to send her “Good Morning” texts everyday or use terms of endearment such as “Dear” even when her response is lacklustre, it might be time to take a step back.
Especially in the early stages of dating, getting clingy is never a good look. While you might be freaking out inside about her unanswered text, sending her three texts in succession is just going to make you look desperate, which women – especially emotionally secure ones – might be put off by. Even if you think that she’s definitely THE ONE, remember that she is not your girlfriend yet, and that clinging on to her like a vine to the wall could be too much pressure and kill any blossoming attraction. Rather, focus on keeping a relaxed frame of mind and enjoy getting to know who she is as a person.
#2: Too little or too much touch
Touch is, well, a touchy subject. While too much uninvited touch can cross into the grounds of sexual harassment, too little will make a girl wonder if you merely see her as a platonic friend. For the first few dates, it might be best to keep your touch light, friendly and appropriate on areas such as the shoulders and her forearm. Be sensitive to her reaction too, as the preference for touch varies from person to person, and guys can look out for certain indicators of interest to see if the girl in question is keen on further “skinship”. For example, if she leans close in to you, or swats your playfully on the arm, she might be keen for you to escalate things a little.
#3: Talking or Bragging Too Much About Yourself
We have all have been there. You’re staring into the eyes of a pretty girl and you want to impress her so badly. Somehow, you begin rambling about that Canoeing competition you’ve won back in college, or try to weave in a story about that sweet Porsche ride that your parents just bought you. While you go on endlessly, you don’t realise that your date’s eyes have glazed over.
Many guys often talk about their achievements, their interests and their funny anecdotes – especially when they are feeling insecure. However, this can leave your date feeling that you’re not interested in her life. At the end of the day, you also realize that you’ve learnt nothing about this intriguing person across the table from you. Nobody wins. So, make sure there’ll be a healthy give-and-take in conversation rather than a one-sided interview-like session where you’re out to impress.
#4: Not Being A Gentleman
While modern women do not really expect extreme stunts of chivalry nowadays, most would agree that it’s nice to be taken care of like a lady. And that’s how being gentlemanly will definitely earn you brownie points. Being a gentleman lies in the details, for example gestures like being punctual or offering to pay the bill on at least the first few dates.
#5: Not Being Decisive
Nothing can be more annoying than indecisiveness – while you might just want to be considerate of your date’s preferences, leaving all decisions to her is just plain lazy and signals to her that you did not make any effort to think the date through.
Rather than have the both of you spending an hour or so on deliberating what to do, have a few key places or activities in mind, and get her to commit to either of your options if she’s the indecisive type as well. For example, “Would you want to do brunch at the Duxton Hill area or go cycling at East Coast Park? Let me know if you have other ideas too!” Either way, you will seem like a confident, dynamic man who is also considerate of your date’s tastes.
And there you have it, fellas – the reasons why that pretty lady has not been responding to your calls ever since that single first date. Even as you try to avoid such dating faux pas in future, also remember to relax and be yourself (albeit the best version of yourself) and enjoy the journey of getting to know someone new. Who knows, armed with your newfound knowledge, the girl of your dreams might just be charmed!
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