8 ways to respond to your relatives’ annoying questions this CNY

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Why are you still single? When are you going to get married? Did you gain weight? Why are you so stick-thin? We’re no strangers to these typical inquiries by nosy aunts, uncles, grannies, and gramps. But how we answer them varies, depending on how ballsy we are. Here are eight ways to respond to your relatives’ annoying questions this Chinese New Year.

1. Politely


Sometimes we just have to suck it up, keep it cool, and stay on our relatives’ good side. Sure, it gets exhausting after a while, but there’s no point picking a fight with people you see only once a year. So, we simply nod and smile, and sort of give a non-answer.

2. Sarcastically


Aunt: “Have you gained weight?” You: “Oh no, I’m just keeping all this extra fat for a friend of mine. I’ll be returning them next Thursday morning.” Put those nosy relatives to shame with a few witty lines. That should silence them temporarily, or for good.

3. Brutally and honestly


Don’t spare them any hard truths. Don’t sugar coat anything. Even if your answer is going to get dark and depressing, just serve it to them straight – “Why don’t I have kids? Because I hate them. They’re noisy little life-ruining goblins.”

4. Dramatically


Pretend they’ve hit a nerve and just start sob-speaking. Make up the saddest story to answer your relatives, and build it up to an all-out ugly crying, emotional breakdown. After today, they’ll never bother you again.

5. Sassily


“When am I going to have children? Well, when are YOU going to have grandkids?” Take that, third uncle from my mum’s side! It’s all about attitude and getting back at them shamelessly.

6. Confidently


The trick is to maintain a positive outlook and not be affected by annoying questions that may, at times, cross boundaries or conceal insults. Take pride in being single, or chubby, so much so that they’ll start being envious of you.

7. Nonchalantly


Indifference is power. Indifference makes you a pain to talk to. Indifference is no fun for other people. And that’s why you need to try it at least once this Chinese New Year.

8. Silently


Some questions just don’t deserve to be dignified with a response. Pretend you didn’t hear them, and then just walk away. If they try to restart the conversation, continue to ignore them until they give up.  

It’s almost a Chinese New Year tradition for our relatives to interrogate us with the usual probing questions. And while there’s no saying when this will stop, or if it ever will, I suppose the best way to deal with it is to embrace it – dramatically, sarcastically, whatever.


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