To my future husband: This is what I have to say to you

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Dear future husband,

Hi there. I realised something today. I’ve had a zero percent success rate at relationships all my life. Zero percent. Total failure. I would start every relationship with hopeful optimism and put my heart into it, but it always never worked out. Failure after failure – it really eats away at my self-esteem, you know? Wondering what in the world is wrong with me. Why can’t I find love when all my friends can?

But I know, deep down, that it is simply because I have not met the right person yet. I have not met you. Just thinking about this makes my heart race. I feel like I’m sitting on a roller-coaster ride – you know the part where the ride creaks its way to the top and pauses for a second before the big whoosh and zoom? I’m at the top right now, waiting to meet you so we can go off on this adventure of a lifetime together. But there are a few things I have to talk to you about.

 

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You are getting an imperfect wife.

I have to confess: Ironing frustrates me very much. So much that I have built up a whole wardrobe of wrinkle-free clothes. So please, please understand that it’s not that I don’t want to be a helpful wife. I just really hate ironing. It’s torture to me. But I love folding clothes! We can work out a deal on this, right? And air conditioning. The man-made cold air bothers me. I don’t like it. I hope you’re not completely dependent on it. Yes, I have my quirks and I’m quite set in my ways.  

And I find myself growing more and more cynical. When we first meet, I might be a bit distant, always on the lookout for things that could go wrong. Thinking of the worst, fearful that you will turn out to be a two-timing cheat like two of my exes. The thoughts of past heartbreaks are never far from my mind. Even now, in moments of emotional stress, I still have occasional nightmares about these exes. In reality, all of us have already moved on, but in my dreams, they continue to betray me, over and over.

I want to thank you in advance for proving me wrong, for sticking with me, for calling me when you say you will – all the little things that you know are important to me, till I completely trust in you. Thank you for banishing my insecurity and making me feel safe and happy. Thank you for being my anchor.

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I don’t want a Prince Charming.

It took me a long time to learn this. I had this idealistic, though rather vague, vision of the perfect man. I was always looking outwards to find him. Then one time, a guy I was then dating called me out on my meanness towards him. I was completely taken aback. Me, mean? To me, my sarcasm was me being witty and funny. But once I put myself in his shoes and replayed our conversations, I cringed and felt really terrible.

That was a sobering day. For the first time, when it came to assessing relationships, it made me look inwardly at myself. I saw that I was not the perfect partner, and it’s not just about the sarcasm, which I’ve since been mindful to dial down. I want us to always be able to talk to each other honestly, and push each other to continue to improve on our flaws and become better people.

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I wonder what you are like. I often wonder where we will meet. What your name is. How you look. In my daydreams, you are sometimes a travelling tennis wonder. Sometimes, a ninja. Other times, a librarian. I know I’m probably super off the mark, but I can’t help coming up with ridiculous daydreams and smiling to myself. I suppose these are just random thoughts, not the most important.

At the end of the day, I want you to know that I will always have your back. That’s my promise to you. I can’t wait to meet you and grow old and wrinkly together.

Love, Your future wife

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LunchClick is Singapore’s first female-centric dating app, developed by the dating experts behind the Lunch Actually Group, the biggest dating agency in South East Asia with over 10 years of proven track record. LunchClick is perfect for serious daters and singles looking to find love – we’re SDN (Social Development Network) accredited, and we manually approve all profiles to ensure that you only meet genuine & quality singles. No swiping, no chatting, just offline dates! What are you waiting for? Download the app on the Play Store or App Store today!

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