This is an interview that LunchClick conducted with Samantha Joy Loh who blogs at http://www.samantha-joy.com/.
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LunchClick: First off, let’s get to know what your relationship with your partner is like. What is one story that you always find yourself wanting to tell when anyone asks you about him?
Samantha: I guess it would be how I first went after Ben! Haha! Though it wasn’t love at first sight, I knew I definitely wanted to date him. Unfortunately I was completely invisible to him. It took me about a month to find all sorts of ways to get closer to him, and I actually think it was quite gutsy of me to finally ask a close friend of his for help (I even had to go through an “interview” before being deemed worthy for him, haha – all in good fun!). Fortunately it all paid off, and today we are engaged! So who says girls shouldn’t go after guys? 😉
LunchClick: When you first got into this relationship, did you have any expectations? How have they changed since?
Samantha: When we went on our first date, Ben turned to me and said, “If you’re expecting marriage or children, I’m not the one for you and we should probably end it here.” I mean, it sounds a little harsh typing it here but it didn’t sound that way to me at that time. I myself, at 20, didn’t want any of those things either so I agreed.
Funnily enough, about 6 years later, here we are in the midst of planning our wedding and discussing our thoughts on babies. I think that’s why people say that one should “never say never”!
LunchClick: Do you think that you guys have already “arrived” or do you think that things will keep changing, whether because of your personalities or because of where you guys are in life (individually) at the moment?
Samantha: I believe that the only constant is change, so I definitely wouldn’t say we have “arrived”. Ben’s in the Food & Beverage line and his work involves a lot of traveling especially during expansion stages. As for myself, I’m still in the midst of “settling down” in my job, so I would say it’s hard to be entirely settled whilst we are so young both in our lives and in our careers.
On top of that, we haven’t lived together yet so there’s bound to be a few adjustments here and there once we move in. I’m very excited about all this though because I think it would be a great opportunity for us to grow.
LunchClick: What would you say is the hardest thing about being in a relationship? How have you dealt with this?
Samantha: The hardest thing is letting go of our egos during arguments and realising that our relationship is worth more than winning. We cope with this issue by taking 5-10 minute breathers before stepping back in to see what we can do to make things right. We understand it might be easier to just look at problems and rant about them. Yet, it’s also better to consider rational solutions.
Another piece of very important advice we try to follow is to always let bygones be bygones. When an argument is over, we consider that a closed case and make mental notes to never bring it up again. This is somewhat easy to do since we both have short term memories.
LunchClick: Lastly, what piece of “wisdom” can you share with us that you think is relevant to both fresh and seasoned couples alike?
Samantha: The last piece of wisdom I would like to share is to tell couples to align their values and expectations the best they can. It’s easy to do this when the honeymoon period comes around and both sides say that they’ll do anything to make things work. But the hardest and most important period is when years have gone by and those butterflies have calmed down. Someone who has the same values would be easier to live with and love, while someone with the same expectations would be easier to satisfy. All relationships are about balance, but many don’t realize how difficult it might be to strike it. It’s a lot of luck, but it’s also a lot of work.
LunchClick is Singapore’s first female-centric dating app, developed by the dating experts behind the Lunch Actually Group, the biggest dating agency in South East Asia with over 10 years of proven track record. LunchClick is perfect for serious daters and singles looking to find love – we’re SDN (Social Development Network) accredited, and we manually approve all profiles to ensure that you only meet genuine & quality singles. No swiping, no chatting, just offline dates! What are you waiting for? Download the app on the Play Store or App Store today!