The Calm after the Storm: How your friendship can survive a break-up

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The death of a relationship, more often than not, closes the chapter on possibilities of friendship as well. While there are instances when it’s for the better, we often also question whether those bridges should’ve been burnt entirely. We’ve rounded up four ways you can salvage the messy situation and remain friends with an ex.

1. Give it some time before reaching out again


When hearts have been broken, they need time to heal. It could take days, weeks, months or even years before the both of you have processed your feelings and put the romance to rest. The last thing you want is to cause more hurt by allowing the residual resentment to creep into your everyday conversations.

2. Refrain from doing stupid things


While you’re giving each other space, make sure not to get all creepy by breaking boundaries. That includes not drunk dialling your ex, or badgering your ex’s friends (or worse, families) to find out how they’re doing. If you must, rally a few friends to keep your craziness in check. Call them whenever your ex enters your mind, or at the very least, never drink alone.

3. Purge your social media


It can be painful to “accidentally” see your ex’s updates on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram and feel a rush of emotion taking over uncontrollably. Clicking the “unfriend/unfollow” button might be too drastic a measure to deal with this, but sometimes you just need to disconnect to reconnect.

4. Strive to be a better friend than a partner


As a couple, you may have fought and argued over every little thing. But that doesn’t mean it should be like that as well when you’re only friends. Keep in mind the things that tick each other off, keep them at bay, and keep the friendship alive.

Reclaim those good old days, those endless heart-to-heart conversations, and never again wonder, “If only we could be friends again…” Because who says you can’t make peace and still save the friend you had in a former flame?

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