What if someone better comes along?

By LunchClick 6 years ago1 Comment
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Contemplating that decisive step towards a new relationship is both dangerous and exhilarating. The danger is what prevents that leap into the unknown; we come up with a thousand reasons why we shouldn’t do it, even though he or she may seem like a suitable partner in every respect. These reasons can often be mitigated if you take the time to think them through.

1. What if someone better comes along?


You’ve realised that the other party isn’t exactly perfect, and doesn’t fit all your very precise criteria. Maybe you’ll meet someone new and fall in love again. Stop! There’s no such thing as someone who’s perfect for you. Besides, the novelty of a new relationship will never quite match up to a strong, steady relationship that has been cultivated over time.

2. We have different preferences – it’s not going to last!


If these differences are irreconcilable (different religions, for example), it’s justified that a relationship might not work. However, if these differences are trivial and superficial, such as the two of you having different tastes in food or clothes, it’s not a good reason not to date someone. Of course you have different preferences! As long as you are compatible and enjoy being together, minute differences can be easily overlooked.

3. I don’t like his/her friends.


Okay … but you’re going to be dating him/her, not his/her friends! You don’t necessarily have to hang out with your partner’s friends the whole time while you’re dating. You can even make new friends that are his/hers and yours. If you’re fond of this person, you should definitely attempt to date this person, regardless of how you feel about his/her friends.

4. I can’t see myself settling down with him/her.


Practically nobody enters a relationship with the certainty that it will last. No one sensible, at least. Only after being with someone for a reasonably long time can you figure out whether you’ll love and accept each other in the years to come. And of course, relationships change people! You may grow to overlook all your potential partner’s idiosyncrasies, just like he or she will be able to grow to tolerate and even adore yours. 

5. I don’t want to be responsible for someone else’s feelings.


Ah, the classic “I care too much about you”. If you’re at a stage where you’re deliberating whether you should be in a relationship with the other person, chances are you already are responsible for his or her feelings. There’ll be devastation all around should you end up deciding not to date him or her. Not wanting to hurt somebody isn’t a good enough reason. Trust yourself not to hurt the other person, and do your best not to.

The prospect of every new relationship brings with it a whole lot of fear and uncertainty. If you want to find happiness, you have to refrain from attempting to over-rationalise your reservations. Take that leap of faith! Stop entertaining the prospect of alternatives. After all, you may never know what you missed out on by not dating this person. But rest assured, the possibilities will always haunt you.

LunchClick is Singapore’s first female-centric dating app, developed by the dating experts behind the Lunch Actually Group, the biggest dating agency in South East Asia with over 10 years of proven track record. LunchClick is perfect for serious daters and singles looking to find love – we’re SDN (Social Development Network) accredited, and we manually approve all profiles to ensure that you only meet genuine & quality singles. No swiping, no chatting, just offline dates! What are you waiting for? Download the app on the Play Store or App Store today!

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One Comment

  • Nicole says:

    #1 – very true!! I think it’s hard to completely get rid of fleeting attractions when you meet new people, but what you can control is whether you act on your impulse.

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